


63 Seconds

by chai_and_coffee



Series: 365 Days [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: :)), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arranged Marriage AU, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Lotura - Freeform, M/M, Mentions of Murder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, alternative universe, klance, shallura - Freeform, shiroxallura, slowburn, slowburn romance, why am i still writing this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-06-30 20:00:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 13,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15758679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chai_and_coffee/pseuds/chai_and_coffee
Summary: With the demise of his wife's deranged stalker, Takashi Shirogane partly expected things to end right then and there. Of course, he should have known that this was his life that he was talking about, and nothing was ever that simple in his life.The journey to find his wife takes an unexpected turn, but on course nevertheless. He finds himself uncovering more about this woman than met the eye, and along the way, discovers a few things about himself as well.Does fate have it destined that these two lovers will end up in one another's arms?Fate can change its course in a matter of 63 seconds.~Arranged Marriage AU! Third in the 365 Days series. I suggest you read 88 Minutes first.





	1. want you back

His hand immediately reached out to her, wrapping around the soft solidness. He pulled her out of the cold, and into his arms. His nose pressed against the top of her forehead, and he sighed quietly. 

 

His eyes widened slightly when he realized that there was no blood against the bandage, that she looked too perfect, too whole. 

 

“You’re not real, are you?” He asked quietly, unwilling to let her go even if she said the answer that he feared. 

 

The sad look she gave him was enough to explain to him. “No, Kashi. I’m not.” She said softly, and he wasn’t too surprised. This Allura was an extension of him after all, and a chord of already knowing was struck inside him. 

 

“He’s gone.” He whispered to her, as if she was the real one. 

 

“I know.” Was her answer, and she didn’t mind as he tightened his hold on her.

 

“The last time you came, it was because I was unstable. Why are you here now?” He asked, pulling slightly away from her to read her facial expressions. Although this Allura was a projection from himself, and he knew that it was possible to lie to yourself, he knew that her expression would tell him all that he needed to know. 

 

“You killed a man. I’m here to make sure you don’t…slip. Your brain can’t comprehend that you took a life with your bare hands just yet.” She explained. 

 

She was right. He had taken lives before during his stint in the army, but that had been behind the relative cover of a metallic gun, behind the cover of not knowing those people. He had been protected behind the notion of doing good for his country, of doing his predestined duty. 

 

But he had choked a man, watched the life drain out of his eyes. 

 

He expected to find remorse for his actions, but all he found was a sense of rightness. That man had deserved to die for his crimes against Allura and himself. 

 

But had Shiro been the right one to deem himself executioner?

 

“No. It wasn’t right, and you know it.” Allura whispered in his ear. Her cool touch soothed the sting of her words, and he knew that she was right once more. For some reason, even though the thoughts came from him, when she said it, he was far more open and willing to listen. 

 

“What do I need to do now?” He asked her. 

 

The laugh that she gave him was playful, was mischievous, and made his heart ache. “You need to find your wife, of course. Lotor said that she had a head injury. That means that she’s wounded, and she might not be moving around or in the best condition.” She explained. 

 

RIght. Lotor himself had explicitly stated that he had hurt Allura’s head during their tussle in the kitchen apartment. That meant that Allura could have sustained brain damage or something along those lines. 

 

“Where should I start looking?” He asked, with a tilt of his head. 

 

“Well, she’s lost somewhere. Hidden, probably to rest and recuperate, but lost. You have to find her.” She said, and the words sparked some irritation from Shiro.

 

“Yes, I know that.” He said testily, refraining his urge to roll his eyes like a spoiled child. “But where should I go?” 

 

“Where did she begin? What shaped her? Who is she? You need to answer these questions.” Allura said. Okay, maybe he took it back. Maybe his hallucination wasn’t as helpful as he had originally made it out to be. The hallucination was a part of him after all, and Shiro excelled at making things harder for himself.

 

“Where she began…so…maybe her hometown?” Shiro guessed. He didn’t know why, but something about the situation at hand made him feel like a kid again, sitting in a classroom.

 

Allura’s answering smile was like the reward the teacher doled out when a child answered a question correctly. 

 

“I’m guessing that was right?” Shiro asked, momentarily dazzled by her grin. 

 

She wiggled slightly in his embrace and hugged him tighter. “Indeed. Maybe she left a clue for you to find her, maybe you have to do a little digging. But you’ll never know until you start at where it all began.” She said, her voice clear. 

 

He knew what he had to do. He had to trace his wife back to her hometown, learn more about her. This was…such a trip, but it was worth it in the end if he finally got to apologize to her for his earlier actions. 

 

“Mm, I think that you’re okay now. Good luck, Shiro. You’ll do wonderfully.” Allura said, and within a blink of an eye, his hallucination was gone. 

 

Somehow, this time when this hallucination left, he didn’t seem so torn up about it. Maybe it was the excitement that he would finally get to meet his real wife once more, that he was so close to achieving that goal, maybe it was the fact that he didn’t have as much as time to get attached to a false projection of a woman he somewhat knew. Either way, it didn’t hurt as much. 

 

Shiro took a deep breath, readying himself mentally and physically, and strode forward, stepping out into a new chapter of his developing life. 


	2. goin' back to my roots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: roots by imagine dragons
> 
> shiro goes to allura's hometown

He really didn’t remember the journey. He didn’t remember what he did after beginning his descent down the mountain back to Coran and the kids, he didn’t really remember what he said and where he said they should go next. He was just so….tired. He didn’t remember boarding the plane, didn’t remember curling up in the small seats and falling asleep. 

 

And he certainly didn’t remember how he got to be on the couch. He blinked his eyes open, heavy with lingering sleep, and choked when he saw a fuzzy orange thing right in front of him. That fuzzy orange thing, however, would be soon recognized as Coran’s mustache, the man hovering over him. It took him a few minutes later to realize that the older man was shaking him awake, was trying to get him to wake up. That in itself was a futile action, considering that when Shiro slept like he was dead, it took hours to fully wake him up. 

 

“Hm?” Was the first sound of his mouth as he blinked the drowsiness away from his eyes and managed to push himself up off of the couch. 

 

“Shiro, we’re here in my hometown. More specifically, Allura’s hometown. I was wondering if you would like to go and check out her old house first before I took the kids.” Coran said. 

 

It was a gift that the other man was giving him. It silently acknowledged that Shiro wanted to get to know her, that Shiro wanted to understand his wife and find her more than anyone, and Coran here was giving him the gift of a few hours of peace and quiet trying to do those things without anyone interrupting him. 

 

Shiro nodded, and pulled Coran into a tight hug. There were no words spoken between the two men, but it was enough. They were two men connected by Allura, and in time, Coran had come to understand that his ‘daughter’s’’ husband was much of a son to him as Allura was his daughter. 

 

“Thank you.” Shiro’s voice cracked, and he berated himself for crying at such a simple gesture of affection. But the sniffle from Coran and the gentle pat of his back indicated to Shiro that the other man was choked up by the amount of affection displayed as well.

 

Shiro pulled away and immediately headed to get dressed. He rushed through the shower, Rushed through getting dressed, and soon, stepped out into the crisp morning air. 

 

This was a small town, Virigina, he assumed, guessing by the stark white colonial houses framed by leafy green trees. Small, but wealthy. He walked along the sidewalk, feeling as though the scenery was something straight out of a book. He passed by a coffeeshop, and several restaurants, but none of them seemed to retain his attention. 

 

He moved forwards, following the directions that Coran had provided him with, following the windy roads. He had the time to raise his lips in a greeting smile as people passed by him, but other than that, he continued down his route to his destination. 

 

He finally found it. At first, his eyes didn’t catch it, but there, nestled in between a few trees, along the end of the road, was a white colonial house framed in all its Virgininan Glory. It was the kind of house one expected colonials to live in….go figure. 

 

He pulled out the key that Coran had given him as he walked up the stone pathway. His feet barely made sounds as he ascended the two steps to reach the door. The key fit in, and as he turned it in the lock, the door pushed open with a breathy sigh. 

 

He walked inside, closing the door behind him. The space was neat and refined, with a few decorations here and there to spice up the house, but not enough to be regarded as too much. He wandered for a while amongst the kitchen and the living room, before ascending up the stairs to where his true destination lay. 

 

He walked down the hall, as if inspired by a unseen force commanding him, and set his hand down on the golden knob. A static of electricity coursed through his hand, and he shuddered slightly, wondering if that was yet another trick of the brain.

 

He mustered up the courage to turn the knob and push open the door. Much like the front door, this door opened quietly, and as soon as Shiro stepped in, stale air hit his face. 

 

The room screamed Allura—but a childhood version of her. The walls were painted a dreamy, fantastical pink, with one wall being a creamy, Columbian blue. Pictures with laughing and giggling friends adorned her tables, and a computer sat on her desk, untouched. A bookshelf took up residence by the window, stuffed to the brim of novels and textbooks. 

 

Shiro noted that the top of the bookshelf was lined neatly with peculiar books, with nothing on the spine. 

 

He pulled out one and immediately recognized Allura’s handwriting, leaping and twisting off the pages towards him. 

 

And for the rest of the hour, that was all he did. He got through each diary as if it was a volume of books, meant to be read. He laughed with her over embarrassing incidents, cried with her over lost friends and opportunities.

 

It was almost as if she was beside him, her head on his shoulder, telling him about what all happened during her crazy years of schooling. The books invoked such a strong presence of her that he could almost feel her reading with him. 

 

“Do you think that we should give him some space?” Lance asked quietly, tilting his head. 

 

“No, he called us here for a reason. Let him just..finish this one, and then we can ask why he had us down here.” Pidge said softly.

 

The group watched their leader read the pieces of his beloved wife from the doorway, smiling at the sight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drop a comment, drop a kudos, 
> 
>  
> 
> catch me on tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	3. make me a believer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the team goodbye

“Hey, Shiro.” Keith greeted, leaning heavily on the doorframe with his arm wrapped around Lance. The kids seemed better than before, more relaxed. The tense lines under Keith’s eyes seemed more relaxed, and he didn’t seem like an angry kid anymore. Lance, Pidge and Hunk all look better, considering the fact that they had been sick and literal shades of white. Overall, the team looked much better. They had color in their cheeks, smiles encroaching on their lips, and a sparkle in their eyes that Shiro was glad to see was back. 

 

“Hey, guys. Thanks for coming down. Did you all sleep well?” He asked with a tilt of his head, setting the book he had on his lap aside to give the kids his full attention. A box of tissues was next to him when he had needed to cry over Allura’s words, and the stack of diaries that he had gotten through flanked his other side, neatly ordered in the way he had read them. He added the book he had just finished to that pile, his eyes on the team. 

 

“Yeah, we slept well. Hunk snored really loudly, the big guy was so tired, but we were so tired too that we just assumed that it was trucks rumbling down the highway.”Lance informed as if this was information that was vital to Shiro’s understanding. 

 

Hunk seemed non-plussed by getting called out on his loud snoring, and his shoulders raised in a shrug. “Hey, you said it. We were all tired. We were so tired, that we didn’t even hear Pidge clicking her teeth at night like she does when she’s had too much candy.” Hunk pointed out, and the group made collective sounds of agreement. 

 

“Well, I’m glad you guys got some rest. Would all of you stop lingering in the doorway and come here? There’s something that I need to talk to you guys about.” Shiro said, and immediately the group heeded his words and walked in. 

 

Lance and Keith sank down, stretching across the fuzzy pink rug. Pidge occupied the beanbag chair, and Hunk sat perfectly next to Shiro, his hands neatly clasped. 

 

Shiro took a moment to let his gaze sweep fondly over the four faces. 

 

“What is it, Shiro?” Hunk asked, tapping his fingers together silently. 

 

“I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for joining me on this trip. I still can’t believe that you four just ended up picking yourselves up and going on this crazy ride. Hell, we’ve traveled the world together. I just wanted to say thanks for being such a great team, a great group of kids.” Shiro said, his expression warm and filled with appreciation for this group of kids who had helped more than he had ever thought possible. 

 

“Why do I feel there’s a but coming along?” Pidge asked.

 

“That’s because there is.” Keith snickered.

 

“But,” Shiro continued, undeterred by the interruptions by the kids. “You guys need to return to your lives. The mountain was a scary experience, and I’m not—-really qualified to take care of four minors.” He said sheepishly, his left arm raising up in a shrug. 

 

“No way!” Lance protested. “We haven’t found Allura yet!” 

 

Shiro laughed, admiring the way that Lance had remained focus on the goal. “True, but we’re really close. Which means that you four need to go home and function as normal children and not escaping activists looking for their kidnapped friend.” Shiro pointed out, and the sullen, overcast looks he got from the rest meant that his statement had hit truth. 

 

When the kids didn’t speak again, Shiro continued. “Coran is going to drop you guys off. Thank you guys so much for everything.” 

 

A tense beat passed between the group, before Hunk broke the silence. “I’m going to cry.” 

 

And all of a sudden, everyone was crying, bawling, really, and tackling Shiro to the floor. Shiro himself was crying, his face buried in Pidge’s hair, his arm around his brother.

 

Actually, he couldn’t figure out who was who. They were tangled so much that it was imperceptible to determine who was who, and frankly, Shiro didn’t really mind. His tears eventually stopped, along with everyone else. But they stayed in that pile for a considerable amount of time, arms and legs wrapped around each other. It was hard to let go of someone when you—-had literally gotten into life and death situations with. Keep in mind, that was only one person. Shiro had forged a bond with four of these kids, and it was very hard for him to let go of any one of them. 

 

“I’m so proud of you all.” Shiro whispered, and that set off another round of crying. 

 

Eventually, though, they managed to maneuver through the mess of limbs and bodies, and managed to pull themselves together. Pidge said goodbye to Shiro first, and he picked her up, both of them clinging to one another. He quietly instructed her to be good and to not hack anything. 

 

He said goodbye to Hunk next, who looked like he was on the verge of tears. Shiro quietly whispered to him that Hunk was his favorite, which made the boy cry even more. 

 

Then was Lance, who winked and said that Shiro would be seeing a lot more of him soon.

 

Then Keith, who hugged him tightly, and that was enough for him. 

 

“You guys need to be good. I mean it, all of you. That means no hacking into the NSA, and getting enough sleep, and no excessive PDA.” Shiro instructed with a stern look on his face, m that only made the kids grin.

 

“Yes, Dad.” With one tight hug, they walked out, and Shiro was once again left alone in the room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall know what to do i'm tired and have a lot of work alskdjfdlskfj so just---do your thing


	4. rumor has it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> literally a filler chapter guys im so tired cause i have so much work to do alksdjflkdjf

What were you supposed to do when you were faced with an empty house and there was nothing but you in it? Shiro supposed he was the only living thing in the house, and well, he didn’t quite count the spiders waving hello from dark corners or the slugs happily greeting him at the front door. They didn’t exactly keep him company, really. He didn’t mind the spiders, really, he had always kept it in his mind that as long as he didn’t do anything to them, they wouldn’t do anything to him. 

 

That still didn’t mean that they were good for conversation, though. Shiro had called out a soft “Hello.” to the spider sitting in the corner of the room when he had entered, and the creature had said nothing, and simply sat there, content in the middle of its web, watching him. 

 

He would have made conversation with his team, but he had sent them away, home, to start their lives once more, far away from this crazy mess that he had dragged them into. They were living the life they deserved, and although he had thought of calling them back, the thought had immediately made him feel selfish and sick that he let it go. 

 

He even told Coran not to come back. At first, the older man was adamant, insisting that he needed to be there with Shiro when they found Allura, but Shiro quickly reminded him that he was all that Allura had left. Coran needed to hold up his life so that when Allura returned back to his life, he could hold her up as well. That was necessary. And of course, the orange-mustached man had argued with Shiro for a while, but eventually caved in. 

 

Shiro felt pangs of homesickness from minute to minute, and he suspected it was due to his loneliness. But he knew that he couldn’t really return to his apartment unless he found his wife, because as much as he didn’t like to admit it, that darn woman had left a mark on him. 

 

Well, he quite enjoyed admitting it, really. It gave him a sense of pleasure that an odd woman who giggled at soft pink colors and got ink all over her fingers was the key to melting his heart, a feat he had thought to be impossible until he met her. 

 

Of course, he worried. How much of that was a fantasy, and how much of that was actually his wife? 

 

“Guess it’s just you and me. In my wife’s room.” Shiro said awkwardly to the spider, who, in an act of contempt, scuttled back into the farther depths of the dark corner, leaving him alone (as far as he could see). 

 

His gaze swept across the room, and his mind was blank. Sure, he had thought himself as a genius for coming to her hometown to figure more things about her, and while that had been essential to the developing of her character in his mind, it really hadn’t furthered his quy est to find her at all. In fact, it had seemed like a drain of time, his time being consumed by reading her countless diaries. Of course, it wasn’t his fault that she was such a potent writer that made him cry over a boyfriend that he had never had. 

 

He had read the diaries as though they were a story, a historical recounting of a mysterious figure, as if they were something holy to him. And then he read it, looking for clues and hidden messages. His searches turned up empty to his disappointment. 

 

And there he sat, back pressed against the foot of her bed, legs stretched out, and the soft strands of the pink shaggy rug he sat on sifting through his fingers, with no lead to go off of. 

 

A knock at the front door startled him, and he wondered if the snails would get the door from him. 

 

“See you later.” Shiro mumbled to the spider (who was still there) as he left the room. He made his way slowly down the stairs, hearing the soft chimes of the doorbell reverberate throughout the household. 

 

He didn’t answer or call out to hold whoever was getting in the house in such a hurry, but rather took his time to make his steps against the clear cut tile of the floors silent. 

 

He reached the door soon enough, however, and swung the door open just enough to warily peek out. 

 

“Yes?” He asked, tilting his head in confusion at the postman who stood at the door. This house was under Allura’s name, and Coran had specifically dictated that mail be delivered to the specific mailbox. 

 

“Are you Takashi Shirogane?” Came the question, which made Shiro’s suspicions rise. Who was this? How did he know his name?

 

Should he be careful? Should he lie? What if it was important? Best not to risk anything, he supposed. 

 

“Yes. Who’s asking?” He asked, but again his question was deflected. This time, it wasn’t deflected with a question, but a statement. 

 

“Sign here, please. There’s a letter for you.” The postman said, holding out a clipboard. Shiro was still suspicious as the took the outstretched pen and signed where mandated, and took the envelope from the postman. 

 

Even after Shiro had closed the door, he didn’t open the letter. Instead, he peeked out of the windows, watching the postman, but it seemed like the man was who he really appeared to be: Shiro saw him walk down the street handing out mail and delivering packages. 

 

His suspicions assuaged, he turned back to the letter in his hands, and tore through the envelope. In his hands, there was a postcard, but an unusual one. On one side, where one might expect there to be a picture, was a picture of a sun, but with no address of where it came from. A number adorned the side corner: 92037. 

 

On the other side, in clear, cursive penmanship, were the words:

 

_Is this supposed to be this hot all summer long?_

 

in the clear handwriting of his wife. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know the drill


	5. here i am, in malibu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> next to you

That sounded suspiciously like lyrics. Who sent this to him? Loads of questions were running through Shiro’s mind at the moment, but Allura. Allura had sent this to him. He recognized the soft loops of her letters, the slant of her cursive, the upstrokes and downstrokes that had since been engraved into his brain. 

 

He ran his fingers reverently over the letters, wondering if her eyebrow creased as she wrote this, much like how it used to when she scribbled in the diary he had given to her. 

 

Okay, it was time to get back to work. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped a few commands in, quickly and almost studiously copying down the “lyric” into the search engine. Sure enough, his guess was right. He had heard that statement somewhere, most likely on the radio, considering the fact that Miley Cyrus’ Malibu was not on any of his playlists. 

 

Well, he was going to have a problem with Allura if she listened to Miley. 

 

Okay, so he knew that she was in Malibu. (What was her thing with beaches? Maybe she really liked the ocean or the sand or something, but he was going to have to talk to her and ask why she liked the particular location so much). 

 

Maybe the other numbers on the other side was a clue? That could be a possibility. Everything seemed to be a clue on this postcard. Damn, this was straight out of an action movie or something along those lines. He figured that he could sell his story to HBO and make a killing over it. 

 

He looked at the other numbers, and it quickly found its way into the search box, next to the word “Malibu”. Immediately, as he hit enter, several Malibu residences with something similar to the apparent zip code he had typed. The first result, however, matched the zip code to the T, and he looked at the information. Apparently it was a family business, a dry cleaners, nestled somewhere in a friendly neighborhood alongside the beach. 

 

He pressed the blue hyperlink to call the number, and raised the phone to his ears, hearing the ringing. 

 

“Hello?” A woman picked up, he could tell by the tone of her cool and feminine tones. 

 

“Hi…I was given your address?” He asked cautiously into his phone. He felt shame rise up in him, he should have planned out what he was going to say before saying it. What if this wasn’t the place? What if this was a mistake and there really was no clue?

 

“Ah, Takashi Shirogane. We’ve been looking for you for the longest time. I suggest booking the first flight to LAX as soon as possible, there’s someone here that I’m sure you’ve been looking for.” 

 

Wait, so he had found the right person. The conversation was quick and short, as if the woman was hurried. But he got her name, and the promise that she would be waiting for him at the airport to pick him up and meet his wife. 

 

He booked his tickets, and almost immediately grabbed what little personal items he still carried. 

 

He wound up in the airport, about a half an hour later, and he was seated on the plane in another 30 minutes. It may have been due to his excitement, but Shiro felt as though the time was going by very slowly. 

 

He couldn’t sit still at all, and it wasn’t like him. He bounced his leg up and down, up and down, and only when he got a dirty look from the woman sitting next to him, he stopped, trying to reign in his emotions. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

 

Already she was there, smiling and laughing at him in his mind’s eye, only this time she was so much more real. He really hoped Raiza wasn’t playing around with him, that this was a sick joke to get something out of it. He needed to see his wife, not be led around on an endless goose chase. 

 

He was so bright and bubbly that on the entire plane ride, which took about five hours, he did nothing but close his eyes and imagine the figure of his wife. He was going to see her! He could finally have the chance to apologize to her, to wrap her up in a tight hug, to do all the things he should have. 

 

But most of all, he had the privilege to tell her that she was safe, that because of her smart thinking, she had saved herself, that she was absolutely brave and wonderful and he adored her. 

 

He couldn’t wait. The air-hostess had to tell him to calm down three times when the passengers were leaving the plane, and that was his wake up call once more to relax. He couldn’t necessarily meet his wife when looking excited like a bumbling idiot. That wouldn’t be the best first impression. 

 

Luckily, Shiro only had to deal with security, but he didn’t even find that the TSA agents were that bad this time. And he remembered to take his arm off, which was good. He was eternally grateful that he had packed light, that he only had a simple backpack on his person, and that he didn’t have to go through the horrors of baggage claim or customs or anything of that sort. 

 

Eventually, he broke into the clearing of the airport, looking around for someone who might be calling out his name or holding his name up on a sign. 

 

“Shirogane!” He heard, and moved to the accented pronunciation of his name, until he found who was calling his name out. A young woman stood before him, her dark hair falling to her shoulders, and looking small and unassuming, except her eyes. Her eyes were dark brown and held a sort of warning that made him not want to take her lightly. 

 

“You would be the princess’ husband, correct? Come, sir. She waits.” Raiza said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drop a comment, that inspires me to write more
> 
> leave a kudos if you enjoyed
> 
> catch me on tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	6. everything goes back to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the reunion

The ride back was filled with palpable tension and excitement. Shiro sat next to Raiza, who seemed to be somewhere from South Asia or West Asia. A small green magnet with a crescent moon sitting in the cupholder correctly identified her origins from Pakistan. 

 

“How…how did you find her?” Shiro was the one who broke the silence, but he needed to know. He needed to know how she got here, what he should look out for. 

 

“Amira escaped her captor, and fled to officials. But because she was badly injured, she couldn’t explain what had happened to her, and needed urgent hospitalization. Afterwards, she had no recollection of what had happened, the doctors said that it was a temporary amnesia due to the blunt force trauma she had sustained to the head. But the abuse marks on her body strongly suggested that she was in some kind of abusive relationship, or even human or sex trafficking. Because I had a good relationship with her before she collapsed from the head injury, the officers decided to send her home with me to rest and recuperate at my place. We’ve been trying very hard to reach you. She’s spent a little time with me, and at first, it was only bed rest. Then she began to walk around, quietly murmuring to herself. She doesn’t remember much, but she talks about her husband. She likes to sit at the dinner table and tell my mother and father what all you did for her.” Raiza said. 

 

“What…what else does she say about me?” Shiro asked, his heart hammering in his chest. Was this something that he really wanted to know? What if this gave him answers that he wasn’t ready for? No matter what, he was going to bring Allura home, but….what if this wasn’t an answer that he wanted to hear?

 

“Amira talks about you. Talks about her husband, who she firmly insists is a good man. She never lost faith that you would find her.” Raiza said softly. 

 

He felt his heart clench. She remembered him, had faith in him. He had reason to trust Raiza, she didn’t seem like the type of person to lie, and she had been truthful with him all the way up to this point. 

 

“Why…why do you call her Amira?” Shiro asked.

 

This question brought a smile to her lips. “My parents are the ones who started calling her by that name. My parents are from Pakistan, and they speak Urdu. They were so surprised by the gentle manner in which she speaks and addresses, and the way she tried to learn about our culture, that they said that she must have been a princess. So, Amira. It means princess in Urdu.” Raiza translated, the memory bringing a curl to her lips. 

 

The car pulled up to a house, and although it was very small, it was not quite next to the beach. Rather, it was on the beach, the waves only a stone’s throw away. 

 

“Come, let us see if she is inside.” Raiza said, leading him up the small little walkway. The house inside was chaos. A little girl and her brother yelled something about a game they were playing, and their toddler of a little sister watched them with golden eyes. It was clear that Raiza was affectionate about all three and that they returned the affection, judging by the way that the kids halted their game and ran to greet her as soon as they saw her. 

 

He too introduced himself, and the kids were fascinated. Luckily, with a sharp bark from Raiza, they went back to playing their game, allowing Shiro to continue. 

 

“This is her room. She is not here. She might be on the beach. Go through that door, and you will find her.” was all that Raiza said, before disappearing down the hallway. 

 

He was left in the room, and gulped. Now that he was so close, a mixture between trepidation and excitement was coursing though his veins, and he realized that she was just beyond that door. He set his bag down, and after an afterthought, kicked off his shoes and slipped off his socks. 

 

He set his hand on the knob, and turned it. The beach was right there, in front of him, and he waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. He stepped out, feeling his feet sink into the warm sand. 

 

And then he saw her. He saw her as a small figure, sitting on the sand, her knees up. Her hair, that white, flowing hair, fluttering in the sea breeze. He walked, his pace picking up. Only a few yards away, he could see the soft white eyelet lace dress she wore, which fluttered hypnotically in the wind. And as he drew even closer, he could see the soft glaze to her eyes as she gazed out at the ocean.

 

Here, she was here. She was right there, in front of him.

 

He sank to his knees, scared to reach out and touch her in the fear that it was a hallucination. Oh, please, please, let it not be a hallucination, let it not be a dream. Let it be reality. 

 

He hadn’t realized he was crying until he heard soft sobs, and it took him a while to realize that it was him. He cried, looking at her reverently, his knees sinking into the soft pebbles of the sand. 

 

He hadn’t realized that the glaze had gone away from her eyes until he felt a soft hand on his cheek, then his other cheek. She was wiping his tears away. 

 

“Well, there’s no reason to cry now. I was just talking about the waves.” She said, a merry twinkle in her eye. 

 

“Allura—It’s me. Takashi. Takashi Shirogane.”

 

The name snapped recognition into her icy blue orbs, and she looked at him, her hands never leaving his face. “I knew you would find me. My husband, I told them. He said he didn’t believe me, but I know he did. I know he would look out for me. Are you real, this time?” She asked quietly. 

 

He sobbed harder at the sound of her voice, smooth and mellifluous and so, so kind. “Yes, yes, I’m real. I’m real, Allura, and I’m so, so sorry. I’m sorry.” He whispered, and gathered her in his arms. 

 

Her only response was to fall apart in the shelter of his arms, having been found at last. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did you think? leave a comment, kudos, you know the drill


	7. she, she ain't real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> confessions and angst

They sat there, on the beach, for a very long time. A very long time. They didn’t say anything, but when Allura yawned into his neck, Shiro knew that it was time to get her into bed. 

 

He felt….odd, really. Ordinarily, he would have never been in close proximity to someone, but there he was, carrying his wife back to her room, setting her down gently on the mattress, and draping a blanket over her. 

 

He didn’t want to leave her, and that reluctance must have shown in his eyes as he gently brushed away the hair from her eyes. It was clear that she didn’t want him to leave, because as soon as he stood up and made his way to the door, her hand shot out and wrapped around his wrist. 

 

He turned to look at her, and was met with fearful eyes. “Can you stay for the night?” She asked quietly. 

 

His answer was to neatly slide into bed with her, tucking her close to his chest with his arms wrapped securely around her. 

 

They didn’t speak for a moment, just relishing the feel of one another. 

 

“I didn’t think that you would come for me. I didn’t think that anyone would, really.” She whispered, her voice soft like a falling feather. 

 

“Why—why would you think that?” Shiro asked, his eyes widening. His grip on her tightened, and if she noticed, she didn’t let on.

 

“Because we didn’t have the best relationship. I didn’t like you at the beginning, because I was upset at the fact that we were forced into this marriage. You didn’t like me taking up your space. We didn’t have the best relationship, even on the good days.” She said, and even though everything she said was true, it was hard not to feel as though someone was stabbing him with a blade.

 

“I know we didn’t, but—you were gone. Of course I would search for you. And what about Coran—and your friends, and all the others?” He asked. 

 

“I’m finding it hard to comprehend why you came after me.” She said, and the confession weighed down on his shoulders. She still remembered the way he had abjectly rejected every notion that she was in danger. Luckily, she spoke next, and he didn’t have to answer to that anymore. 

 

“Besides. Coran wasn’t there to walk me down the aisle like I wanted. He barely even knew that I got married. And I hadn’t talked to my friends in years. I had no reason to believe that someone was looking for me, that someone was looking out for me.” She finished. Despite the tough nature of her words, her tone stayed neutral and her words were always whispered in the attitude of a confession. 

 

“We cared for you. Of course we would come after you.” Shiro insisted, a little bit more firmly this time. 

 

“Thank you, for that.” She murmured, and despite the dim lighting, he could see the way the corners of her lips curled into a soft smile. 

 

He didn’t say anything more, but just curled her closer to him. 

 

“Also, I’m willing to give you that divorce you requested.” Allura said, and amusement tinged her voice. 

 

“What?” Shiro asked, a bit confused as to what she was saying. What did she mean a divorce? Did she not want to go back with him? Did she not want to rejoin her life again?

 

“The divorce. Before I left, you expressed a desire to get divorced. I’m saying that I’m ready to uphold my side of that request.”

 

As much as he wanted it beforehand, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed now. She wanted a divorce? But—he had just gotten her back…

 

“Oh! Right,” His stupid brain said. “Right, yeah. That sounds good. We’ll still remain friends, right?” He asked with a tilt of his head. 

 

For some reason, despite her being the one to suggest it, her next response sounded tinged with sadness. Why was she sad? Did she not want to be friends either? No, he couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t lose her, not after all he had been through to find her. No, no—

 

His thoughts were cut off by her speaking. “Friends. I accept that.” She said softly. 

 

Another moment passed by them, with neither one of them saying anything. Tension was thick in the air, yet no one commented on it. It was their flaws, their flaw of being unable to come to terms and get rid of their stubbornness. 

 

Luckily, Allura was the one to break the silence once again. 

 

“Shiro, what happened to my father?” She asked, very quietly, almost as if she knew the answer and was scared. 

 

He sighed internally. He didn’t want to ruin her day by admitting what had happened to Alfor, but he largely suspected that it would be better coming from him than anyone else. And of course, he couldn’t lie to her. Never. 

 

“He’s…gone, Allura. I’m sorry. Lotor got to him.” He said, and wasn’t shocked by the absence of a surprised face from the woman in his arms. He suspected she already knew on some kind of level, but needed the actual confirmation.

 

But then again, maybe not. She buried her head in his chest once more. 

 

And as the night passed on, Allura wondered if friends were supposed to wipe her tears off and whisper sorries, and press soft kisses to her hair and her forehead when they thought the other was asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drop a comment/kudos
> 
> catch me on tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	8. be mean, be mean, be mean to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hahahahaha

She was…tense. She was tense, and….it didn’t bode well for him. She didn’t hold onto his hand anymore, her back was straight as if she was bound to an iron rod, and her smiles were stiff as she said her thanks and farewells to Raiza and her family. Shiro let her have her time with them, grateful that they had rescued his wife and had treated her well. 

 

Speaking about his wife, the topic of divorce had come up while they had been getting ready to go back home. It came up, and it was clear that it was going to happen soon. But two agreed that they could come home and settle everything then. 

 

Home, home, home. He was excited, despite her change in attitude and composure. 

 

“Are you ready?” He asked her, and her only response was a tired smile. She did slip her hand back into his, though, and he was grateful for that. He didn’t let go of her hand, not once, not even when he had to let go of the tickets or the bags. He was a bit afraid that if he let go of her hand, he would lose it forever. 

 

The flight back home seemed mediocre. It wasn’t as long as any of the other flights that he had been on, but it wasn’t exactly short either. Nothing eventful happened, Allura simply closed her eyes and leaned onto his shoulder, taking a nap. His head had eventually joined hers, the young couple twisted in slumber. 

 

Shiro was the one to first wake up, and the smallest motion from him elicited a grumble from his wife. He chuckled softly, and gently ran his finger across her knuckles, caressing the small rivulets in her skin. 

 

He was a bit worried, honestly. It seemed as though the effects of her brain injury were still lingering, because at moments she would wince as though things got too much for her. Raiza had informed him that it would take a month or so to recede, and also warned him about the possible effects. There were still gaps in her memory, and it fell to him to make sure to patch it up. 

 

He glanced down at the sleeping woman on his shoulder, and gently pressed a soft kiss to her temple. She shouldn’t have gone through this, any of this, but he would make it right. He would make sure that she had a lovely life afterwards, that this would be a faint memory, never to be touched upon again. 

 

“So brave.” He whispered to her. He had a habit of telling her thing that he couldn’t tell her when she was awake, so he whispered it to her when she was sleeping so she would know that he was proud of her—but he didn’t have to deal with the flush of embarrassment that was associated with anything around his wife. 

 

The rest of the airplane journey was short, and luckily, when they touched down, Shiro lived quite near the airport, so the ride to his apartment was short as well. 

 

“Okay, home sweet home.” He said, and yawned. Apparently, there was only so much travel a body could take, and as he looked over to his wife, he could see the same fatigue mirrored in her eyes as well. That snapped him into action, he needed to get her upstairs so that she could take some rest. 

 

He didn’t bother with the bags, but Allura insisted on hers, she slung it onto her shoulder. She didn’t take his hand this time, and his hand felt strangely empty without hers in it. 

 

He felt a bit sick to his stomach, as if he knew that something wrong was going to happen. As he led Allura up the stairs and down the hallway to his apartment, she abruptly stopped, and he knew that something was wrong. 

 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, her head ducking immediately.

 

“Why?” He asked, tilting his head, confused. He didn’t understand, what was going on?

 

“I can’t. I can’t go inside. I can’t—“ she sputtered. 

 

Shiro wanted to smack himself. Of course, she wouldn’t want to come back to the same place where there were so many bad memories associated with it. And then again, he was associated with it. Now, Allura hadn’t said it, but Shiro picked up that she slightly mistrusted him for not believing in her before. He didn’t blame her for it, but that could be one of the factors influencing her to deny the shelter for the night as well. 

 

“Where do you want to go for tonight?” He asked, keeping his tone light and soft. 

 

“I’ll—call Pidge. Or one of them.” She answered, her fingers fiddling together. Did she want him with her? Was it him that was driving her away?

 

“Do you want me to come with you?” He asked carefully, praying that his voice didn’t betray him. 

 

“No—“ She said, and didn’t meet his eyes. “It’s—nothing against you—“

 

“No worries.” He cut her off smoothly, not heeding the fact that his heart felt like it had been cut in two. “You need me to call?” 

 

Again, another head shake. He lingered around just enough to make sure that Pidge and the gang picked up Allura, and that she was okay, before turning and heading into his house, without his wife. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahaahahaha


	9. we found love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> don't worry, loves  
> things get better ;)

Allura walks into the apartment, and the first thing that she notices, is that it’s too quiet. Then Lance jumps at her, and she’s sure that she can feel Hunk’s arms wrapped tightly around her, and Keith is there, and everyone is crying, and she’s not really sure when she started crying, but she is, she’s crying into someone’s hair. 

 

And of course, it’s not the most comfortable of positions, but as of right now, she’s completely fine. A small part of her longs to do the same to her husband, to have him throw his arms around her and squeeze her tightly. 

 

But that’s something that she can’t have anymore, with the upcoming divorce and all. 

 

Eventually the kids pulled back, and Allura took the time to look at them with a fondness in her eyes. She started with Hunk, then Pidge, Lance, and Keith, pressing kisses to foreheads and thanking them from the bottom of her heart. 

 

That cued more misty eyes, and another group hug, which somehow made it to the couch this time. This time, when everyone was settled, they sat in different places on the couch, Allura nestled in Hunk’s arms, Pidge taking up residence on the ottoman, and Keith and Lance sprawled together, taking up the other corner. 

 

Allura and Hunk had always had a special bond, especially with her discovering his homelessness, and the fact that they both had kindred souls. Their friendship was absolutely sweet and was a source of comfort for all. 

 

“Where’s Shiro?” Keith asked. The young man had been taking a nap before she had arrived, and it was clear by the exhaustion prevalent under his eyes that some of the sleep still lingered. 

 

“Home.” Allura answered softly, and she got concerned looks all around.

 

“What happened? Why’d you call Pidge? Not that we mind, of course, but did something happen? Did Shiro do anything to you? I don’t care that he’s my future brother-in-law, I’ll murder him!” Lance said, his eyes widening as he got fired up at the possibility. 

 

“Lance,” Allura was the one to talk him down from his rant. “No, no. Nothing like that happened with Shiro.” She said.

 

“Then what happened?” Pidge asked, in a strange display of softness. 

 

“The..the last time I was in that apartment, bad things happened. And—I know that Lotor is…gone, but I can’t stand it if I’m sleeping in the same room as the same man who didn’t believe me the first time when I had brought it to his attention that I wasn’t feeling safe. I realized, that even though he travelled and came to find me, he still didn’t trust me those first three times.” She noted quietly. 

 

“Allura…I know that you might feel hurt and stung from this, but he really…cares for you. The entire time that we were looking for you, he was getting ready to rectify his mistake. He really wanted to apologize to you, especially because of how he treated you.” Hunk said softly.

 

“We’re not asking you to go back to him if you don’t want to. All we’re saying is..just give him a chance okay? And with that, I’m going to have to order you to go to bed. No offense, but you look terrible, Lulu.” Keith said, standing up and extending a hand out to her to lead her to the guest room. 

 

She followed him, wondering why he, of all people was the one leading her to bed. 

 

His intentions came clear as he gently slid a phone to her.“Use this for the time being, okay? We’ll get you a new phone and everything. Oh…and…Shiro’s contact is there, in case you need it.” 

 

She nodded quietly, and sank down into the mattress, before sliding all the way to the center of the bed and curling up under the covers. Keith understood that action and quietly slipped out of her room, closing the door behind him.

 

She closed her eyes, trying, in vain, to get somer rest, but to no avail. She couldn’t sleep.

 

She reached across and wrapped her hand around the phone, debating on whether or not she should call. 

 

She eventually tapped the screen, tapping in a series of commands on the flat surface. 

 

She raised the phone to her ear, hearing the quiet ringing. 

 

“Hello?” his voice came through, a soft note, but tinged with the low bars of sleep. 

 

“Sorry, did I wake you—?” She immediately dropped her voice to a soft whisper. 

 

“Allura?!” He said, alertness creeping into his tone. “Is everything okay?! Did you get to Pidge’s place properly? Where are you? Do you need me to come pick you up?” Question after question was fired at her, and it was exactly in the manner she had imagined a worried husband fretting over his wife. 

 

“I’m fine, I’m fine, I got here okay. I just…I wanted to hear your voice.” She sayid quietly, and she half expected him to hang up on her. 

 

Instead, he spoke again. “I’m here, okay? Just a phone call away.” 

 

“I know.” She said softly. 

 

She wanted to be there, to have proof that he’d changed, to hear the warm timbre of his voice vibrating down her skin. She wanted to be there, for him to gently wrap her up in his warm embrace, just as he had done a day ago, to close her eyes and drift off to sleep, listening to his heartbeat. 

 

But—she didn’t know. The same kind of uncertainty plagued her. She didn’t know for sure if he’d stop drinking and lashing out at her. As much as he gave her a sense of safety, he was also the same man who could take that sense of place away in a heartbeat. 

 

And a little flutter in her heart told her that he wasn’t like that anymore, that he had changed, but she found it hard to trust herself. 

 

Nevertheless, she drifted off to sleep, both of them still on the call, and momentarily comforted by their connection. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment, they fuel me to update!
> 
> drop a kudos if you enjoyed
> 
> catch me on tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	10. there's a monster under my bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm doing my best

Things got better, of course. 

 

They found that it was hard to function without one another without contact, seeing how both ends had been completely at a loss when separated from one another. Allura still desired time to let old wounds heal, and Shiro was ready to give her anything they desired. The talks of divorce had been halted for the time being, seeing how both of them realized that they couldn’t live without one another, and neither of them were willing to rush into something that could have negative unforeseeable effects on both of them. 

 

Things progressed and evolved, and after a few days, they had delved into a somewhat relationship. 

 

Since Allura felt that she needed to take things slowly, she went out when she felt like it, usually with Pidge or Hunk accompanying her. She knew that they were very busy and tried to make up for it with apologies. Although she craved fresh air, the thought of someone not keeping an eye on her gave her anxiety. It frustrated her, having to act like a little child in order to get something that she desired, but Shiro was insistent that she not worry and do what she had to do. 

 

Speaking of Shiro, the man was a constant part of her life. Although he didn’t come and visit her, they maintained a somewhat loving long-distance relationship. He wanted to come see her, oh, he wanted to see her so badly, but he wasn’t quite sure if that was okay with her, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to ask. So he left it there. He usually called her on his route to and back from work, and at night. 

 

The other time, in order to ease the ache of separation in both of their hearts, they texted. 

 

It could be simple messages, or long paragraph messages, but either way, it would send both of them scrambling to their phone. It elicited shy smiles out of Allura, and soft chuckles from Shiro, who got antsy when she didn’t respond within a timeframe of ten minutes. 

 

The first time it had happened, she had been in the shower, and he had sent her ten messages asking if she was okay, if he needed to swing by, and she had read it all with an amused smile before picking up her phone and calling him to ease his worries. 

 

“Allura?! Are you okay?” He had asked, and she had hear the note of panic in his voice. 

 

“Shiro, yes. I went to take a shower. I’m completely fine. It’s okay.” She had soothed, and that had been the first and last time of him showing his panic.

 

Of course, he still got a bit anxious when it had been a while, and Allura was mindful of this and gently gave him a reminder that she was going to be away from the phone for a long period of time. 

 

Text messages were a valuable part of their time, especially when Shiro was too busy with work to have a call. Although texts didn’t convey the same type of emotion, they were loving nevertheless. 

 

For example, Allura always reached over to grab her phone before she was fully awake, just so she could see what message he sent her.Today, it was:

 

[Hey Allura! There’s a panini in the fridge, I tried to make it as close as I could to the Starbucks version. Another day at the underworld, make sure to get some rest and eat. Text me, and call me if you need anything. Have a good day.]

 

The texts always made her smile, Shiro texted as though he was sending her a paragraph, and not simple little texts as it was meant to be. She wasn’t complaining, of course, seeing how her eyes eagerly scanned down the length of his texts very happily. 

 

She sent him texts too, and today’s conversation was no different than any of the others. 

 

[Loved the sandwich. Absolutely amazing.]

 

[You had it for breakfast?!]

 

[No, silly. Check the clock, it’s two in the afternoon.]

 

[Tough case today?]

 

[Yeah. Lost track of time, I guess. A little kid is missing, and his step father isn’t doing anything.]

 

[Oh, I’m sorry. Anything I can do to help?]

 

[Just keep texting, okay? Gives me a little break.]

 

[Of course, Shiro. Did you get enough sleep last night?]

 

[Eh. It was nice talking to you, though.]

 

[Hey, I have to go. Call tonight?]

 

[Yeah, go, go. I’ll call you tonight. Serve some justice!]

 

[ ;) ]

 

And she didn’t know why, but that little winky face the he had sent made her feel hot and bothered for the rest of the day. It wasn’t the face itself, just the fact that he had sent it. Oh, she knew that she was being stupid, but there wasn’t much that she could do. 

 

She had glanced at her phone over the course of the hour about fifty or so times. She knew that he has said that he was going, that he had work to do, but she worried, and she well, she was just as attached to him as he was to her.

 

She had read about something like this, when she was in college, something about co-dependency. There were relationships like this which were completely toxic, but she couldn’t think about this relationship as if it were in that manner. 

 

Relax, Allura. 

 

She took a deep breath, and went on with her day. She had asked for a few books to read, and the day passed quickly as she delved into the pages of the newest romance book she was reading. Silly, she knew, but it was like an escape to another world where everything was okay. She was currently reading Nicholas Sparks’ ‘The Rescue’, and was completely engrossed with the fictional lives of Taylor McAden and Denise. 

 

Sue her, she adored it. 

 

She was only a few pages away from finishing when she realized that it was evening, and she had to eat dinner, which also meant that Hunk would be coming home soon. She realized that something had jolted her out of her reverie. 

 

The glow of her home screen gave her the indication of what it was. 

 

[Hey, don’t think that I’m going to be able to make the call today. Tough day at work. I’ll call you tomorrow.]

 

The text from Shiro made her frown. He never cancelled their calls, but she supposed that the case was tough and he just needed some time to recuperate after his day. 

 

[Okay, Shiro. I’m here if you want to talk.]

 

She suddenly didn’t feel like eating dinner. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments inspire me to update!
> 
> drop a kudos if you enjoyed!
> 
> catch me on tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	11. imma say all the words inside my head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ;)))))

He wasn’t lying. It had been a tough day at work. Turned out that the apparent missing child case was a story of a nasty divorce gone wrong. Apparently it had been the mother’s week to take care of the child, and the father had forgotten about it. That meant that the valuable time that Shiro could have spent on his high priority case had been wasted, all because of the fact that a stupid man forgot to check his calendar. And yes, Shiro knew that he shouldn’t be so upset, but time was rare, and he didn’t have a lot of it. 

 

Despite finding his wife, it turned out that Lotor was not the perpetrator in all of the kidnappings/disappearances that had been happening around the time of Allura’s disappearance. Some of them were, like the lady who used to give Allura her groceries, but not all were murdered by Lotor. 

 

The latest disappearance had been centered around an IT girl, and Shiro knew that one of the most important rules while investigating a case was to not get too attached, but he couldn’t help it. But there was something about this girl that reminded him of his Allura. 

 

Well, not his Allura. You get the point. 

 

It wasn’t even funny. This woman looked…nothing like her. She had dark hair and a round face and dark eyes, and was basically Allura’s opposite. There was no correlation between them at all. Absolutely no correlation, yet every single time he glanced down at the picture, he was reminded of Allura. 

 

Needless to say, the case remained open and unsolved, due to the lack of evidence…or anything, really. There was no proof that someone had taken her, or that she had walked away, or anything of that sort. It was like as though she vanished. 

 

The possible causes of her disappearance were compiled into a list, and so far that list consisted of three items: that one, the girl had run away, two, she had eloped or some shit, and three, there was something else at play here that they weren’t properly looking into. And he didn’t know about anyone else, but although this list seemed very small, it made his head whirl. 

 

He just…he needed to see Allura after this case. He needed to wrap her up in a tight hug, cradle her in his arms and make sure that she was alive, that she was okay, and maybe then he could have his focus restored and begin concentrating on his work. 

 

But he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to. He didn’t know if she wanted to see him. The last time they had seen each other, she had been uncertain about coming inside his apartment with him. And although she had had every right to feel that way, he couldn’t quite get the look of how she had accused him of not believing her out of his head. 

 

As much as he said that he didn’t know whether or not she would want to see him, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to see her either. Although she posed a great sense of relief and focus, there was also the possibility that she could maim him with her words once again. And he wasn’t sure he wanted to go through that kind of pain anymore. 

 

Hell, he’d be happy if he could never experience any pain anymore. But that wasn’t the point. 

 

The case was left unfulfilled, and he eventually told everyone to go home and take a break, spend some time with their families, to sleep on it. Maybe with everyone operating on a clearer mind, things could be progress better. 

 

But the thought of the IT girl as Allura plagued him, and he felt uncomfortable. It was almost like the same time in which she had been missing. 

 

He wound up at the bar. Sure, he was supposed to wean his dependency on alcohol, but these were trying times and he desperately wanted to make sure that he got a clear mind. Just a few drinks, and that would be it. That was his mantra as he slid onto the supple leather of the barstool and cleared his throat to the familiar face of the bartender. 

 

Turns out, due to the fact that his alcohol consumption had been stopped for a while, his capacity for alcohol had been shot down by a wide margin. Within three drinks of his whiskey, he was already feeling the buzz, and any inhibitions that might have stopped him from requesting more of the drink were gone. Glass after glass, glass after glass, and soon everything in the world seemed right again, and his right hand seemed like a normal hand. That was the problem with alcohol, it gave him too much goodness, gave him too much power to believe that the world was an okay place for once. 

 

The force of the amber liquid coursing through his bloodstream sent him reaching for his phone, and the rest of his actions were a blur as he pressed his phone against his ear and heard the ringing tone oscillating. 

 

It seemed far away when he heard the soft musical voice croon, “Hello?”

 

Oh, what a beautiful voice. What a gorgeous voice, belonging to a goddess. It was the kind of voice that made him want to lean in closer, to hear the soft, swooping cadence of the voice, to fall asleep listening to it.

 

“Allura?” He asked, softly into the phone. He pressed the phone closer to his ear and tried in vain to shh the other inhabitants of the bar. 

 

“Shiro?” The voice was alert, but still soft, and for some reason, it made him want to sob. 

 

“Allura…..come home. Please, ‘Lura. Please.” He slurred into the phone, him finding it hard to get the words out of her mouth and into the phone. 

 

He didn’t even hear her response as his head slumped down onto the counter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drop a comment, kudos
> 
> catch me on tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	12. new york city, please go easy on me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just some fluff ;)

Allura had to fight back a soft laugh at Shiro’s soft mumblings. He was still on the line with her, which made it easier for Pidge to track where he was. To no one’s surprise, the young woman had placed a tracker in each one of their phones, and was currently sitting in the backseat, her face illuminated by the computer screen. Hunk was the one driving, and Allura sat in the passenger seat, her phone pressed to her ear. Her gaze was directed to the window, where she watched the different colors of the signals swoop by. 

 

The city at nighttime was so pretty, and it was one of the reasons that she had chosen to live there. The buildings were illuminated by glowing lights, the streets were busy but silent, and changing lights from green to yellow to red dominated most of the scenery. Above the looming buildings, a navy canvas of starry dots cradled the scenery in its grasp. 

 

Her forehead felt comforted by the cool glass of the window, and she heard soft noises in her ear, soft noises coming from the inebriated man who had called her. 

 

Of course, she had been concerned when he had called, but his quiet pleading with her to come home was what sealed the deal for her to go after him. Meeting him while he was drunk was not part of the plan, but her skin tingled with a vibration at the thought of even being able to see him. 

 

She knew that it had been her statements before that had kept him away, and although she knew that it must have hurt him, it needed to be said. She wasn’t going to be one to retract her words anymore. At that moment, that was how she had felt, and those words had needed to be said. 

 

But she did miss him. There had been a sense of comfort when he had found her at Raiza’s place, when he had gently drawn her into his arms and curled her closer to him in order to help her sleep. Shiro was safe, he was good for her, and maybe she had been a little slow to realize it. 

 

“We’re here!” Hunk said cheerfully, pulling into the parking lot. Pidge stayed behind in the car while Hunk and Allura made their way inside. They immediately located Shiro, and sighed quietly in relief when they found that his tab had already been payed. 

 

“Lulu?” Shiro slurred when Allura put her hand on his back to alert him of his presence. She groaned at the nickname, shaking her head. 

 

Hunk, on the other hand, seemed to find this funny. “Answer him, Lulu. He’s asking if it’s you.” Hunk said, a glimmer in his eye as he hoisted Shiro up. Hunk slung Shiro’s left arm around his shoulders, steadying the man. The shorter Allura did the same with Shiro’s other side, and shot Hunk a glare around the drunken man between them.

 

“Yes, Shiro. It’s me.” She soothed. 

 

From there, it was quite an adventure to get Shiro out of the bar. He kept wanting to stop and play with Allura’s hair, which was apparently quite enticing to the drunk man. Allura seemed helpless, her silvery hair caught within Shiro’s long fingers, while Hunk seemed to enjoy this. Hunk seemed to enjoy the antics of the couple, and shot frequent winks at his best friend when she looked at him helplessly. 

 

It was agreed that Allura and Shiro would have to take the backseat, which Pidge grumbled about, considering that she would have to get up. 

 

But they made it work, and soon, a happy and drunk Shiro leaned onto an amused Allura, the expanse of the cityscape beckoning to them once more. 

 

This time it was harder to get Shiro up to his apartment, because somewhere along the way, Shiro had decided that it was time for him to go to sleep, and no amount of cajoling from Allura could wake him up. 

 

So essentially, the three had to deal with dragging a grown drunk man up the stairs and down the hallway, but they made it. 

 

“You coming?” Hunk asked, looking at her. They had just tucked in Shiro, who seemed quite happy to be in a bed and was passed out peacefully. 

 

“Um—I think I’ll stay here.” Allura said softly, sparing another glance down at Shiro, her expression soft. 

 

Allura glanced back up to see something flicker in Hunk’s eyes, was that knowingness? It was almost as if the boy had known that she was going to say that, and had asked her just to hear the answer. 

 

“Sounds good.” Hunk said, and after he and Pidge had quietly bade her goodnight, they left, leaving her with a sleeping and drunk Shiro.

 

“I’m just..going to go change.” She said to the sleeping man before turning tail into the closet. She had no clothes here, crap. She slipped one of his shirts off the hanger, hoping that he didn’t mind it if she borrowed his t-shirt for a night. The shirt itself was big on her, and it hung off of her like a dress, but this wasn’t a beauty competition. 

 

She found herself making her way over to the bed and sliding in as if it was the most natural thing. It was there that she fell asleep, content and at peace for the first time in days. 

 

When Shiro woke up, he groaned. He had a splitting headache, courtesy of the alcohol he had ever-so-helpfully consumed yesterday. He felt a little motion at the sound of his groan, and glanced down. 

 

His wife, in her beauty, was curled next to him, her arm wound tightly around him and her head on his chest. At the sound of his groan, she had tightened her arm around him. 

 

What the hell had happened between them last night? Either way, he didn’t care. He snuck a soft kiss to her forehead and was content to let his headache rage on. He didn’t care anymore, because she was back in his arms and that meant everything was okay with the world. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> words here


	13. sooner or later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> date stuff

It was about an hour later when the woman in his arms snuffled and blinked her eyes open. He had to resist making a soft sound, but dear lord, this woman was absolutely adorable. He fought the urge to laugh when he felt the softness of her eyelashes flutter against his chin as her eyes open. 

 

“Good morning.” He said, a tone of amusement creeping into the bars of his voice. His hand curled around the back of her neck, his thumb sweeping back and forth in a hypnotic manner. 

 

Her only response was a quiet grumble, and he took it to mean that she was not a morning person. He allowed her to gradually wake up, laughing softly as she nuzzled herself against the soft fabric of his shirt. 

 

“Mmmph.” She mumbled, and he took it to mean good morning as well. He waited for her to realize that she was with him, that she was in someone else’s bed, and wished that he had captured the moment when her head shot up and her eyes rounded, as wide as saucers. 

 

“It’s just me.” He soothed. “Don’t worry, you can sleep for a little bit if you want to. It’s a free day today. We’ll do something, okay?” He said, his voice soft and the usual cadence in which he spoke to his wife. 

 

That was all she needed. Her head dropped back down to his chest and within moments, she resumed snoring. Chuckling lightly, he reached across to the nightstand, where he pulled out his phone. He texted the department that he was taking a day off today. 

 

Soon, though, he was getting a bit restless. He wanted to plan out the day. When he was certain that she was truly asleep, he neatly slid out from under her and padded to the kitchen. 

 

Of course, he could write out his plan all he wanted (he even busted out his steno pad and a nice pen), but the plan could only be enacted if the object of his affections woke up. 

 

It was two when she woke up, and he was sitting on the couch, calmly reading a book. She wandered her way over to him and leaned against the cushions of the couch, sinking down next to him. 

 

“Good morning.” He said, and laughed at the dirty look she gave him. Despite it being mid afternoon, his wife was still not a morning person.

 

“Bite me. You were getting drunk last night and I had to stay up late to make sure you didn’t do anything stupid.” She said, but the comment was light, teasing. 

 

“Ha-ha.” He said with roll of his eyes. “So, I have something planned for us today, as a thank you for last night. You okay with that?” He asked with a raised brow, and a slight tilt of his head. 

 

His lips curved into a grin when she nodded enthusiastically, and after a brief conversation, he could hear the water of the shower running. 

 

Needless to say, Allura took a really long time to shower and do everything that she needed to. By the time she got ready (wearing a pair of jeans and a simple pink blouse), it was already four in the afternoon. But it was worth it to see her so happy, grabbing her purse and making sure to smooth her strawberry chapstick over her lips. 

 

He took her to the mall, and it was completely worth it to hear her excited squeal. Of course, that meant that he had to endure her darting into shops and making him try on clothes, but he was more than happy to carry the shopping bags containing the fruits of their labor. 

 

They were standing at the line for the cashier at Express (Allura had gotten some nice tops from the store), when he noticed that the young woman seemed to be looking elsewhere. He followed her gaze to the young couple in front of them, who seemed to be in the new phase of the relationship, hands locked together and lips on one another. 

 

Shiro felt his cheeks burn red at the display of affection, but Allura didn’t seem to show any of that emotion. Instead, she seemed to be looking at them with interest and undisguised curiosity. 

 

Of course, when he added the latest shopping bag to the conglomeration of bags already looped onto his arms, he wasn’t too surprised to feel an addition to his hand, fingers lacing. (Of course, the two were blushing so hard that one might have wondered which one of the couples was actually the younger ones.)

 

It was nice to have her hand in his, and it made the trip far more enjoyable. Of course, he especially loved it when she didn’t let go of his hand when they were getting ice cream, and she loved it that he didn’t let go, not even to readjust any of the shopping bags. 

 

Dinner was nice and simple, they managed to snag a table at one of the popular Italian restaurants, and it was worth it to see Shiro scarf down the garlic bread as if he had never seen it before, and to see Allura finish off a huge salad, pasta, and dessert. 

 

Their hunger satiated, the couple walked out of the mall to set their bags in the car, and returned back to the mall to walk around. 

 

As the evening grew into the night, the mall lit up with the sparkling lights, setting the scene for the two to walk merrily on the marble flooring. The roar of the water fountain decorating the front could be heard in the distance, but as of right now, it was just them. 

 

When it was time to go, however, both were a bit reluctant. 

 

“Are you…staying over?” Shiro asked tentatively, as one might do when trying to defuse a bomb. 

 

“Should I?” She asked. 

 

Of course, her question was answered thirty minutes later, when he gently set her down on their bed, his eyes sparkling in a sort of way that made her heart flutter. 

 

“Thank you for tonight.” She whispered as she curled up next to him. 

 

His only response was to tug her closer and to press a soft kiss to the crown of her head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments mean updates, seriously guys--they inspire me so much
> 
> drop a kudos if you enjoyed


	14. baby, you don't have to rush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> light angst, major fluff, apologies

Shiro blinked his eyes open and was surprised to see the darkness of the room surrounding him. He turned his head to see the numbers of the alarm clock glaring back at him, reading 2:38. 

 

He looked down and tried to blink the fatigue from his eyes, when he noted that the familiar warmth of his wife wasn’t there. His head jerked to the side and his eyes widened even more when he realized that his wife was not in bed. 

 

He shot up, panicking, and he saw the kitchen light on. He scrambled out of bed, anxiously moving to the kitchen. Where was she? Was she okay? Maybe she needed a drink of water. Maybe she was sick. Maybe something was wrong. 

 

His worry decreased exponentially when he saw her in the kitchen, but spiked back up again as he took in the scene. 

 

Allura was bent over the sink, her forehead pressing into the cool metal of the faucet, whispering something, a chant, a mantra, something. Her hands gripped the counter, her grip so tight that her knuckles were bone white. 

 

“Allura?” He said softly, calling out to her. He didn’t want to startle her, but he needed to know what was going on. 

 

She flinched back in response, as if she didn’t recognize him. 

 

“You didn’t trust me.” She sobbed, and he realized that she was crying. Streams of her tears slid down her cheeks and dripped into the sink at a steady pace. Maybe she did recognize his voice, because the statement seemed to be aimed at him.

 

“What?” He repeated, keeping his voice level and soothing. He didn’t know if she was experiencing some sort of PTSD, or a panic attack, and was completely at a loss on what to do. He was reluctant to call any of the others, because…she was his wife and he should know how to help her. 

 

“You didn’t trust me,” She repeated. “I begged, I pleaded. You didn’t trust me?” Her voice was raw, pure emotions laced within the low bars of her straining voice. She fought to talk through her tears and her swelling emotions, and it was all too much. She kept remembering how he didn’t trust her, he didn’t believe her enough to protect her. 

 

She pulled her head off the faucet, and looked at him with those soul piercing eyes. Those crystal blue eyes, which had once been strong and determined was now filled with uncertainty and fear, fractured mosaics swimming in those eyes. She looked at him with such a betrayed look on her face, and that, paired with her swollen eyes, made Shiro’s stomach turn. It was wrong. She shouldn’t be like that, she shouldn’t be experiencing any of this. 

 

“Why didn’t you trust me, Shiro?” She asked, looking at him.

 

And if it wasn’t possible before, Shiro’s heart broke even more. He abandoned all caution and pulled her into the shelter of his arms, where he knew that he could keep her safe. He rocked her back and forth to provide a motion for her to hang on to, and she melted into his arms. He could clearly hear her questioning why he didn’t believe her again and again, her throat hoarse and choked up from the earlier crying. 

 

With every single word, she dug knife stuck between his ribs a little deeper. He knew that he had fucked up, he knew, he knew, he knew, and here she was, reminding him again. And he felt absolutely terrible. 

 

He buried his face in her hair, her body slightly jolting as she cried quietly in his arms. Even the the sweet scent of her perfume wasn’t enough to stop the tears that arose to his eyes and slipped down his face. He could feel the strands of her hair starting to get wet from the emotional moisture, but he didn’t dare pull away. 

 

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He whispered continuously. “I trust you. I trust you, I swear. I trust you.” He wept, and sank down, his knees resting against the cold tiles. It should have hurt but he was so, so focused on righting everything that he had done to the woman he loved. 

 

His head ducked down, his eyes cast onto the tiles that glowed poisonously under the lights. He felt a soft hand gently cup his chin, and tilt his head up. 

 

Allura’s eyes looked down at him, safe and warm, and absolutely innocent. 

 

“I—believe—you-“ She choked out, and he crumbled. He pressed his head against her stomach, closing his eyes, and leaned into the woman who made him pure, who made him worthy. Her hand came to cradle the back of his head. 

 

They stayed like that for a while. Sometime during the altercation, she too sank down, and they knelt on the tile together, arms wrapped tightly around one another, tears drying on their face. 

 

It was 4 when they went back to bed, and they were inseparable. Their limbs tangled together and no one was able to distinguish who was who. Apologies were whispered, forgiveness was doled out, and they sought refuge from the cold, harsh world in one another’s arms. 

 

They eventually fell asleep, feet twined, breathing synced, and absolutely content. There was no hesitation in the way Shiro pressed a sleepy goodnight kiss to Allura’s forehead, or in the way Allura traced sleepy circles on Shiro’s chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY I DISAPPEARED  
> BUT IM HERE NOW  
> SHALLURA WEEK BEAT MY ASS (plz go check out my works)  
> I'LL FINISH THIS I SWEAR


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